lachrymose.

Today, I’m having my 7th month of my relationship —I wish I had more than 24 hours. I have a boyfriend, he has a sensible type. So much different than my last boyfriend. As you know, when you’re having a perfect relationship that make your day every time you need it, you will become so bored. You will miss days that you fight, then you scream and cry wildly. That’s exactly what I feel, sometimes.

My boyfriend is so kind, the sweetest boyfriend I’ve ever had (maybe. yeah, I seem forget how I got along the days with my last ex-es. Haha). He’s royal, but that’s not exactly the reason I love him ._. every time I get mad, he faces it patiently, whatever I said to him —even I knew that they were rude—, he never barked at me. Seem so perfect right? He knows the way how to make me happy, at least make a little smile on my face when I get so frustrated. His tells me every time I need his advises, wisely. And so on and on and on, too many good things he made. His sincerity will make me cry, right now.

He makes me so crazy. But, so bad I was very often making he cried. Hurt by hurt I carved. Hurt him by remembering my last ex again.

Well, I know I have been so rude. That was all beyond my strength, beyond my mind ever thought. All I know is I love him. I just can do the best for him, for both of us. Pray for me, I’m wishing strength and infinity faith. He is an absolutely good God-made.

I don’t want to be unfaithful, again. am trying.

I love my God, my family, him, close friends of mine, and you, my tumblr friends <3

I’m starting the 30 days challenge of my own. Wish me laugh.

I’m just can’t stop thinking about …

am I change?

am I worse?

do I have a bad personality?

am I disgusting?

am I worth it to be ignored?

am I sucks?

am I annoying?

do my thoughts annoy you?

are my thoughts not worth it to be heard and be appreciated?

do you hate me?

I just don’t know why people seem so different. They underestimated me, just like anything I said wasn’t worth it enough to be appreciated. Or…..I have failed on showing my emotions & maybe I was wrong on the way I said something.

But, just so you know, friends. This is who I am. This is me, with every bad and good, better or worse, this is still I am.

If you hate me because of who I am, it’s okay. But never stabbing on the back, please. That’s hurt. If you all want to stab someone on their back, think twice & imagine how if you were the one that stabbed on your back, by your friend(s) even by your closest friend.

Beware and before you decide to do something, it’s better that you see the matter from any point of view. Trust me, it will end with something good and there will be no offense.

with hope,

F

that I’m so into fashion design, lalalalala :}